This makes me sad. You obviously had strong feelings for your dogs and, I am sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you. Please do not blame yourself for this terrible event.
"Some people are so poor, all they have is money"
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Losing a dog is like loosing a family member perhaps worse as they see us at our worse and best but never question why just give. My last dog died in front of me - choked after eating (well gobbled she was a 13yrs old Labrador ) her food - gone very quickly but not quietly . Even now I say "what if" which is pointless no use looking back just think of those mad days when they made you laugh or put their paw on your knee !
After a short while briefing the only back is to get another "friend" - Never replaces them but will add to your life and remind you ,at times, of the good life.
P.S. Adopt a stray they deserve / want you help and will get you over your grieving. Clear Skies - 2 more stars have just been added