It turns out I was able to solve my own issue through some research, a large dose of stubbornness, and a bit of experimentation.  In the hope that my solution might help someone else with a similar problem...

I edited /etc/systemd/system/x11vnc.service, inserting the -nocursorshape parameter into the line that executes /usr/bin/x11vnc.

I've thrown several VNC clients at it and my wireless keyboard/touchpad's cursor is now visible on the screen while using each of them.  There might be a tiny bit of lag as a result of the fix, but nothing troublesome and easily worth it to have a visible cursor using VNC via the Stellarmate app on my iPad!

Of course your mileage may vary.  Also I can't guarantee this doesn't have a negative side-effect that I haven't yet encountered, or that the fix will work properly with all hardware/software combinations.

Jim

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